What Actually Causes Transformation
For something to transform, it must be put under pressure. A common way of applying pressure is heat.
Carbon becomes diamond.
Ice melts into water.
Wood burns to ash.
Food fuels energy.
Winter gives way to summer.
The examples are endless.
It’s no different for you. Lasting change requires pressure. But even more importantly, it requires the pressure to persist long enough to create the change. This is a fundamental reason why people fail to transform into more capable people. We crave resolution, answers, and comfort - all forces that remove the pressure before the transformation takes place.
Do you have a nagging problem causing tension in your life? Of course you do, we all do. Instead of rushing to “fix” the problem, turn up the heat.
Instead of asking AI how to deal with a difficult person, take some time to emotionally live in the consequences of what not dealing with them means. Feel the resentment build, the relationships erode, the quiet erosion of your peace.
Instead of looking for life hacks to break a bad habit, put your mind in the reality of what your life will look like in 5 years if the habit persists. See your health decline, the missed opportunities, the version of yourself you swore you’d never become.
And then, after you turn up the heat, and here is the most important part, don’t relieve it. Live under the pressure. Immerse yourself in that imagined future where the problem never resolves—feel the emotion of it fully, day after day.
Sound painful? Sound exhausting? That’s because it is. This is why most people don’t make large, mature, transformations. We avoid pain and crave comfort. Comfort is nice, but comfort doesn’t cause development.
The real goal isn’t to “solve” the problem. It’s to let the pressure of the problem reshape who you are in the middle of the difficulty. Let me say that more plainly:
The goal isn’t fixing the issue—it’s using the pressure of the issue to become more capable, more confident, more stable -- more of who you want to be.
When that internal change happens, handling the issue starts to feel organic. That’s when you finally act: have the hard conversation, endure the withdrawal from the habit—not because you “have to,” but because that’s simply who you’ve become.
Or… you can just stay comfortable.
Carbon becomes diamond.
Ice melts into water.
Wood burns to ash.
Food fuels energy.
Winter gives way to summer.
The examples are endless.
It’s no different for you. Lasting change requires pressure. But even more importantly, it requires the pressure to persist long enough to create the change. This is a fundamental reason why people fail to transform into more capable people. We crave resolution, answers, and comfort - all forces that remove the pressure before the transformation takes place.
Do you have a nagging problem causing tension in your life? Of course you do, we all do. Instead of rushing to “fix” the problem, turn up the heat.
Instead of asking AI how to deal with a difficult person, take some time to emotionally live in the consequences of what not dealing with them means. Feel the resentment build, the relationships erode, the quiet erosion of your peace.
Instead of looking for life hacks to break a bad habit, put your mind in the reality of what your life will look like in 5 years if the habit persists. See your health decline, the missed opportunities, the version of yourself you swore you’d never become.
And then, after you turn up the heat, and here is the most important part, don’t relieve it. Live under the pressure. Immerse yourself in that imagined future where the problem never resolves—feel the emotion of it fully, day after day.
Sound painful? Sound exhausting? That’s because it is. This is why most people don’t make large, mature, transformations. We avoid pain and crave comfort. Comfort is nice, but comfort doesn’t cause development.
The real goal isn’t to “solve” the problem. It’s to let the pressure of the problem reshape who you are in the middle of the difficulty. Let me say that more plainly:
The goal isn’t fixing the issue—it’s using the pressure of the issue to become more capable, more confident, more stable -- more of who you want to be.
When that internal change happens, handling the issue starts to feel organic. That’s when you finally act: have the hard conversation, endure the withdrawal from the habit—not because you “have to,” but because that’s simply who you’ve become.
Or… you can just stay comfortable.